where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
