Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
