Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Are my feet made of real feet?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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