oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
