I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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