I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
