I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
