her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
