1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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