In the future we'll all be gay
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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