i was born a porn star she said
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
