I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
