i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You can't just leave with hair like that
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
