Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
another moral hangover. fuck.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
only you would photoshop your dick
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
