Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
