I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
