I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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