So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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