Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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