mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
