the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
