yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
