I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I would ride that face into the sunset
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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