life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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