There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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