i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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