Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I still have a little drunk in my system
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
