Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
