Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
