I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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