Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
