overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
