Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Found your dick twin last night
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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