Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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