just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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