Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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