I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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