i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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