What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Did I show you my penis last night?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
