if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I could fuck to npr.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i think i just lost a toe
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
