you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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