I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
