do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
