We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
