'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
