The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
