i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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