Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
