So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
