I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
