So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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