Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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